Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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