Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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