Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
