I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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