You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
