I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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