i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
