We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
