i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I want her autograph on my taint
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
