return my video game
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
