Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
