I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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