Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
