proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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