hell yes lets make some ravioli
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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