Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
