Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
