nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
