I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
