just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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