I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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