I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
