you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
