Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
