I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
