Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize