he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
