it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
