okay pat passed out under dana's car
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
