just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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