ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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