dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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