Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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