Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
