The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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