Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
