You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize