so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
