I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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