Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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