I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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