Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
