I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
