am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
