He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
