oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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