How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
