So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
then he tried to convert me to islam
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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