I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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