I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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