My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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