There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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