I want to walk on stilts...naked
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
