I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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