Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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