i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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