just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize