he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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