I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My bed smells like the plague
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