And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
