well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
