So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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