Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
