i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
