Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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