Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
