Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
