She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just want to make out with him forever
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
