At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Randomize
