I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
