he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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