As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
