I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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