Sry I called you an 8
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Pants are for mortals
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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