another moral hangover. fuck.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
