So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
