Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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