community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
