I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The air was thick with penises
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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