I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
operation have a gay friend backfired
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
