also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
