It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
