I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
where are you?
Hypothermia
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
