Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
