i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
