I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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