The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
