Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
