i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
