I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
