fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
